Last week, I was talking with two of my friends who also have young kids with dyslexia, and they told me the story of how their friendship started. They found each other through the mutual frustration and embarrassment that they both experienced when they realized that their kid wasn’t reading “like all the other kids”. What was wrong with their child? Where had they screwed up as parents? What were they supposed to do now?

The Struggle and Sacrifice

The stress that folks carry around watching their child struggle in school is no small thing. I met a woman this week who told me about the extreme sacrifices her family has made to support her son with dyslexia over the last several years. The only specialized school the state would pay for was several hours away from their home, so in order to make the commute work, the family split up during the week and half of them slept on couches Monday-Friday. Her son is graduating from 8th grade at the end of this school year and they cannot wait to do life as a family again.

Three Essential Things to Keep in Mind

If you find yourself resonating with the frustration and stress described above, here are three things to keep in mind.

1. You aren’t alone. Though it may seem like your child is the only one struggling, it’s not the reality. About 15-20% of students struggle significantly to feel successful in school and the majority of public, charter, and private schools struggle to serve students with dyslexia well. There are some schools that do an incredible job, and it’s also very normal to feel like your school is failing your child with dyslexia. Even if you haven’t met them yet, there are many parents and caregivers that are feeling what you are feeling. Take the time to find them.
   
   2. Don’t wait for your child to fail. If you see your child struggling or if they are telling you that school is really hard, initiate a conversation with their school team this week. Get the ball rolling. You don’t have to have all the answers, but put together a list of your observations and start asking honest, direct questions. If you feel nervous about having a difficult conversation, I recommend listening to this audiobook ahead of time on non-violent communication. It’s a great tool to empower you in the advocacy process. Don’t give the school the benefit of the doubt. Assume that you will need to be the primary advocate for your child.
   
   3. Also, assume best intent. But wait, didn’t I just say not to give the school the benefit of the doubt? Yes, don’t assume that they know how to best support your child with dyslexia, because unfortunately, many schools don’t know how to do this well. However, I’ve been in education for nearly 15 years, and rarely do I meet a fellow educator who isn’t there because they really want to help kids. It’s a field that draws empaths and givers and I’ve found it beneficial to remind myself of that whenever I talk to a school about the way they are supporting their students with dyslexia. You are partners, not enemies, even if you currently disagree with what next steps need to be taken. In my experience, the more you can use language of collaboration and appreciation in your advocacy, the greater the impact of that advocacy for your child.

Empowering Yourself and Your Child

So, look yourself in the mirror and tell yourself that you’ve got this. Your child can learn to read. You aren’t alone, you aren’t crazy, and you and your child will be okay. Then, take the next step.

Additional Resources

PS: One next step is checking out Everyone Reading Illinois, an incredible organization where I serve on the Board. This group has been around for over 40 years and are true experts in the space of dyslexia advocacy, education, and intervention. They recently worked with other key stake holders in the State of Illinois to put together a Dyslexia Guide and Dyslexia Toolkit. Though created especially for the Illinois community, these resources are full of rich information and will support anyone looking to learn more about dyslexia.

PSS: If you find yourself resonating with this article, google “dyslexia tutoring near me” to find support. Connecting with a knowledgeable professional can be transformative in empowering you with what you need to support your child with dyslexia. Also, reach out to other parents. You can google “dyslexia parent groups near me”, ask around at your child’s school, or attend a local event with dyslexia as its theme. Redwood Literacy and Redwood Schools are also here to help if we can. Reach out anytime.