Happy Thursday, friends. I’ve been having several discussions recently with fellow parents and with professionals in the dyslexia community regarding when to use “learning difference” vs. “learning disability” when referring to my daughter’s, or any individual’s, dyslexia diagnosis. It’s such an important conversation because the way we label and refer to our child’s neurodivergence impacts their view of themselves. In a big way.

So here are my reflections from these conversations and my opinion on this question, at least for now. One thing I’ve learned about opinions is that they shift almost constantly as I go through my life. Each encounter with a fellow human being has the chance to completely change the way I think about something. Each new research study that makes its way into my information intake might alter how I approach something. Each failure or success that I experience personally or observe in the folks around me is likely to cause me to rethink something I’ve previously held on tightly to. So, here is what I think about this, for now. If you really disagree or really agree or fall somewhere in between, I would love to hear from you. Tell me about it (kait@redwoodliteracy.com) and you might just change my mind a little bit.

Let me back up and talk briefly about the power and limitation of percentiles, as this information really impacts my current opinion on when to use disability and when to use difference.

What do I mean when I say percentile? Well, if your child undergoes any norm-referenced testing, they will get percentile scores. Norm-referenced testing is an important part of an academic journey. If they fall in the 90th percentile, that means that they scored higher than 90% of individuals in their peer group or other kids at their age level. If they score in the 10th percentile, that means that they scored higher than 10% of kids their age, or lower than 90% of kids their age. That’s a crash course in what the percentile tells you.

What is the power of percentiles? Knowing your child’s percentile score is really important in some ways. The most valuable thing it can tell you is if your child might have a learning disability. This means that some part of their brain’s wiring makes learning academic subjects like reading, math, and writing harder in comparison with their peers. When I say harder, I mostly mean that it will require them to use much more energy to learn the same things. I have seen so many kids who were told their whole lives that they couldn’t learn how to read go right ahead and learn how to read when given the right kind of instruction. So it’s not that these kiddos can’t learn. It’s just that they have to exert way more energy than most to do so. This is an unfair disadvantage and when not well supported or understood, can become a huge barrier to their academic and life success. Calling a learning disability a disability can help our neurodivergent kiddos have clarity that it is indeed harder for them to learn certain things than the other kids around them. This validation of their struggle can be incredibly life-giving, helping them feel seen for the hard workers that they are. It can also empower them with empathy for themselves when they feel tired or discouraged in their academic learning process, especially in mainstream school environments where so much of their day is focused on these areas. Legally, using the term learning disability helps you get access to the extra support services your child is entitled to by law. For more information about your educational rights, see these resources.

What is the limitation of percentiles? When I look at my brilliant 6-year-old daughter, I don’t see “below average.” I see a highly intelligent, vivacious, curious individual who is already better at certain things than I am. She teaches me something every day and helps me see things I probably would have missed without her. She may be below the 5th percentile right now for a few, very specific and foundational academic skills. But that is just a tiny snapshot of who she is. That percentile can only tell me a few things about my daughter that paint a very small part of the picture of who she is. In a season of her life where she spends the majority of her week in an environment that asks her to invest a lot of time doing some of the things that take the most energy for her brain to do, it can start to feel like these areas are the bulk of who she is. And if the bulk of her felt-identify on a day-to-day basis feels tied to things that are really hard for her to do, it can start to feel like it’s hard for her to do anything. This is a very defeating and overwhelming experience that can stop us in our tracks with how heavy it is. Imagine how heavy your child’s school day must feel to them sometimes. The fact that they keep on going is pretty amazing.

I want my daughter to know she is so much more than a disability. That her learning difference is just one part of who she is. I want her to know that I see how much energy she exerts. I want her teacher to know how much energy she exerts. I want her peers to know how to encourage her when she feels discouraged and how to see her struggle with this as just a part of the wonder that she is. A percentile on a page does not predict her future in and of itself. Humans are uniquely wired to adapt and there is so much more to living a full and successful life than academics. Some of the wisest, most successful people I know did not do well in school growing up. I myself dropped out of high school at the age of 16. What is considered “traditional academic success” is only one type of success. There are many ways to achieve what you want with your life outside of academics. For these reasons, I want my daughter and my students to know that having dyslexia is a learning difference and does not in any way limit them from pursuing anything they want to pursue, including academic excellence and a love of literacy. And in fact, their dyslexic brain brings assets to the table in the forms of strengths and perspectives that non-dyslexic brains do not have. Their learning difference can actually give them an advantage for certain tasks and challenges. It’s so important to me that they know this side of their diagnosis as well. Equally important.

So what do you think? Is there a time and place for using learning disability and a time and place for using learning difference? How might the way we empower our kids with this understanding in turn strengthen their self-awareness in a way that helps guide the choices they make in life?

I think that’s pretty powerful stuff.

Until next time.