This week marks my daughter’s third month of 1st grade. The other night, when asked to get her backpack ready for the next morning, she started sobbing. She was able to articulate through tears that she hated how she felt at school. She said that everyone else knows their ABCs and 123s but her and that whenever her teacher asks her to do something, she feels embarrassed because she can’t figure out what she’s being asked to do. She said she can’t remember people’s names and that the whole day feels so hard.

Here are five things my partner told her after he had listened for a long time:

1. You are not alone. A lot of kids, grown-ups, and even grandmas and grandpas have felt just like you do.
2. It’s totally ok for you to feel frustrated and tired that ABCs and 123s take your brain more time and energy to learn. Sticking with things that are hard take so much strength and bravery.
3. We’re sorry that these parts of your school days are hard for you. That sucks.
4. We’re proud of you. We think you're amazing. We will be with you on your school journey for a long time.
5. What are some things you know you’re really extra good at? Things your brain and body and heart enjoy and feel proud of?