Big Feelings
Do you remember that consultation I told you about last time? I had to reschedule it. Why? Because of some big feelings.
With the end of Kindergarten approaching, our family move, and the continued impact of Covid-19 changing fun plans, my daughter was full of big feelings the day of her scheduled consultation. There was no way I was going to get the data I was hoping for on that day. I was also feeling totally overwhelmed that same day and didn’t have the creative and calm energy to try and convince my daughter to push through. I didn’t have the stamina to do it and neither did she. Big emotions filled up both of our spaces and so we rescheduled.
The remediation process for most kiddos is a time-intensive one. Let me remind you that when your child works through a program like the Wilson Reading System®, or through an intensive written expression curriculum like the Writing Revolution®, it takes multiple exposures and high dosages, which means a lot of time without a lot of extended breaks. Evidence-based programs like these are actually re-wiring your child’s brain by creating new circuits of connected skills to set them up to read and write automatically. That’s a big deal and takes a ton of energy from your child and a ton of skill and consistency from your practioner. I would encourage you to be wary of any specialist or program who promises you that they will move your child’s literacy skills in a matter of weeks or months. It’s just not how it works.
Because this work is a marathon, and not a sprint, pacing yourself and supporting your child in pacing themselves is a crucial part of the process. So don’t be afraid to make space for some days when the big feelings call for cuddles on the couch in front of a good movie or an extra hour playing with friends at the school playground instead of what you had scheduled. It’s ok. More than ok. Big feelings are super important to pay attention to and modeling to your child how to do so is just as important as them learning how to read. Whenever we are learning how to do something difficult for us, big feelings will be there, and learning how to regulate ourselves in the process actually propels us forward faster in reaching our goals.
Perseverance through tough tasks is also a vital part of the process, don’t get me wrong. Supporting my daughter in building up her tolerance for tough and uncomfortable tasks, even on days when she feels overwhelmed, is a crucial piece of the puzzle as well. There is space for both of these things to be true. In fact, according to Frostig’s research, both perseverance and emotional coping strategies are on the list of six attributes of success for individuals with learning differences. If you haven’t heard of Frostig’s work, I highly recommend you check out the parent guide I hyperlinked above. It’s really good stuff.
Next week, I’ll share with you what I learned about my daughter from the consultation report. I’m really eager to get that data to begin understanding what my daughter will need moving forward on a deeper level. Until then, my fellow advocate warriors.